Comment / Sport

Wake-Up! Football Fans Are The Last People Alive

Sean McGuire.


I recently came across an article which described football fans as ‘inhuman’, ‘mindless’ and ‘perverse’. He went onto to describe fans as a ‘cancer’. These are all words that have dehumanising connotations.

However just as in life, everything that people think is right is actually wrong. The world is a revolving contradiction. The gauntlet has been thrown down and I challenge you to a duel. I am a football fan, and guess what? I have a mind; and unlike you I am human.

This is the dramatic irony in said writer’s opinion piece. The reason why this self-confessed ‘normal’ person is so opposed to football fans behaviour is because he is the one who cannot think for himself. He is the entity that is devoid of a mind.

To me football fans are the last remnants of time when there were actually human beings roaming the planet. It is tribal, intrinsically human and is the biggest outlet for those left to feel alive. Why? Because it is the last human freedom. It is the only place where a human being can fully express themselves tribally. Expression is freedom. Freedom is humanity.

This writer, unfortunately, has fallen foul to the mind police that are the oppressing classes of this country. The poor soul believes in sensationalism. He waits for social cues before he acts. He jumps on the vitriolic bandwagon that is political correctness. His mind is not free. He doesn’t think, therefore he isn’t. I think therefore I am; and here is the message to him who isn’t and those disgruntled soap-watching, consumer-consumed, pre-programmed, nine-to-fivers who differ.

Freedom as a human being is NOT the ability to stroll around anywhere in the world, because you made the decision to abide by social ‘norms’ that the rich and powerful have invented to keep the masses in their place. People act in this pre-programmed way and follow the ‘rules’ because they are in fear having their physical freedom taken away. However, here is the bombshell that will be like a virus to your expertly constructed hard drives – not conforming to what the masses do, does not take away your physical freedom. Moreover, it gives you your freedom as a human being back.

You see now, if you believe this revelation, when someone presses ‘z’ on your social cue keyboard, ‘x’ will now appear in your computer screen-like mind. This means you will no longer function like a computer. You are now non-mechanical, alas you are a human being.

Having your mind repressed into a tiny ball of political correctness is a prison in itself. This may guarantee that you can walk out of a door unrestrained for the rest of your life; however you can never be a true human being, because you function in a pre-determined  way. A man who is confined within four small walls, yet not being affected by society’s oppression has a freedom that extends way beyond the universe. Those who think they have the freedom of the universe, but conform to what they a ‘supposed’ to think, may as well be in a confined space the size of a coffin. Because after all, they are technically dead. Freedom as a human is to be able to think then do, not think then don’t.

Perhaps some convincing is in order for those becoming seriously adverse to this notion. You cannot help but disagree with this idea because it is not compatible with the software already installed on your brain. It is what windows would call an error code C7. It is an ‘incompatible system error’.  New information has attempted to enter your pre-programmed hard drive however the incompatibility causes a reaction of aversion and confusion. Most computers will shut-down, re-boot and rid the new in-put from their system. So it’s OK if you ‘feel’ angry. It’s not your fault. Turn off your brain and re-boot. Freedom is overrated anyway.

A human being on the other hand absorb new ideas in all their glory, they take on board and embrace the multi-emotional euphoria of free-thinking and broad-mindedness. A person who has succumbed to the programming of the oppressing classes cannot do this. They are the narrow-minded ones. They are the scourge.

Their computerised brains are the ones that are ‘inhuman’; they will never know how to be a human being. Those who need to ‘act’ in public, those who respond to life’s situations with pre-installed out-put, they are the ‘mindless’ people on Earth.

The biggest threat the technological has presented to humanity is artificial intelligence; and many people dread the day that computers start to think like human beings. The irony is that the biggest threat to humanity is actually human beings starting to think like computers. Living is about autonomy, not automation. Emotion, not emoticons. Instead of ‘USB’, think ‘you should be’.

For the anti-football fan writer, who shall remain anonymous – not to avoid a rift, but to dehumanise him down to the statistic he is for his amateurish diatribe directed towards football fans – on the contrary dear contemporary, you are the one who is ‘inhuman’ you are the one who is ‘mindless’ you are the ‘cancer’. Cancer is an unwanted intruder that destroys living organisms; and that is actually what you are – not football fans.

Who would have known that you did not look at football fans, you in fact looked in the mirror. You are the one who is mindless, inhuman, perverse and cancerous. So carry on writing down someone else’s thoughts in your little paper; after all, you have no choice.

So for those who are opposed to football fans and want to continue with this myth that we are mindless -here is my contentment that I sit in like a warm bath. Whilst I am breathing my mind will be free; and whilst your mind is not free, you will merely be breathing. I love being a football fan, and today is a great day to be alive.


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